Ive been driving a cab on a part basis going on six months now. There are approximately five cab companies in town. For the most part we are are cordial to each other. We tend to stay out of each others way. We also do our best not to steal each others fares. There seems to be a bit of mutual respect for each other.
There is one cabbie in town who works for Anchor taxi who is different from the rest. He is an ornery little bastard and I think he reminds of that king on the old Bugs Bunny cartoons who always yelled " Wheres my Hossenfeffer"!
There is this particular taxi stand on Market street in front of Fat Bellies Bar and Grill that he seems to think is his. He often parks there and goes inside of Fat Bellies for what seems to be hours. I personally don't care what he does but on the rare occasion I park in that spot he drives by real slow giving me the stink eye. I usually just laugh it off and not worry about it. After all Ive had better people not like me.
This past Sunday afternoon I was parked in that popular stand listening to the scores of the first games of the NFL games played and waiting for the blues radio show to start on WUNH. I look up and guess who is standing at my window. You guessed it, that dork from Anchor Taxi.
"Nice parking job" he says pointing out that I'm a couple feet off the curb.
"That's so I could get out of here easily because some people want and enjoy my services" I reply.
He grunts and scurries away to the confines of Fat Bellies Bar and Grill.
Within a couple minutes he saunters out of the restaurant. He has in his hand these little maps that the city likes people in the service industry to give out to tourist to help them get around the town of Portsmouth. To me it looks like comic book art , but it is helpful to those who aren't familiar to the city. I notice he is walking towards me and I could see in his face he was going to say something to me so I went on the offensive.
"Hey man, what are you doing with those maps?" I asked.
He didn't answer so I answered for him and said teasingly "are you going to use those to help you find your way around town!"
He turned red and I could visibly tell he was offended by that comment. He mumbled something I couldn't understand then he looked at me and stammered " I could drive around this town backwards faster than you could go forward."
"Touche, wanna try bucko!" I shouted back.
By this time he is walking back across the street to his cab. I was feeling pretty good because often if you piss someone off and then don't like you and they will not talk to you at all. Well that was what I was trying to achieve.
My 2-way radio rung and it was dispatch giving me a run. I was putting the car in drive and suddenly I see King Hossenfeffer standing on the curb looking at me. I yelled at him, "I have a run and I will be right back in a few minutes to claim your parking spot."
" No you wont" he responded, " I will park my cab there and I will go inside and watch the Patriots."
I drove away without saying anything. I took care of my fare and drove back to that hot spot. And sure enough his cab was there and he wasn't around. Right then I realized that I found my Nemesis in the cabbing world. He doesn't know it yet but I will make it my mission to make his days a little more uncomfortable. I wont break the law and I wont do anything to hurt him but there will be some practical jokes coming his way.
I will always make it a point to park in that spot whenever possible. Also, if I see him in that spot I will use my personal cell phone to call him and ask him to go get me somewhere acrosss town going back downtown. Once he leaves I will take that spot then call to cancel the ride.
I'm open to suggestions so please if you have any ideas of what I could do in order to have some fun with this ass clown please let me know. I will use my blog to keep you posted on any progress I make in ruining this guys day!
