***(This was written as a joke. So please don't take it serious.)***
Since I posted about the dude and his mistress a couple of weeks ago I have been questioned on why I didn't write a scathing story about her. My answer to that is that I don't believe she was trained properly. She obviously doesn't have all the right information. I know the chances of that lovely lady ever reading my blog is slim to none. Now if I could offer some insight any other ladies considering becoming a mistress I would feel Ive enriched someones life.
Everyday we all do things that we know we shouldn't be doing. Some people smoke even though they know that it will eventually kill them. Some people take things home from work even though its considering stealing. And others drink and do drugs even though that turns them into people they wouldn't recognize or even like for that matter.
The first thing I would say to anyone considering becoming a mistress is not do it. You should have more self control to not give into temptation. Now if you feel the need to give in to the urge let me offer you some insight.
As a mistress you need to realize that you aren't going to be his top priority. Heck, you may not even be in his top 5 list of priorities. You will be behind his wife, kids, house, job, car, lawn and TV. But you might be ahead of his priority to sleep because he does need to find time to be with you. After all in order for him to have a mistress he does need to have some time in his schedule for you. So learn your role and deal with it.
Another role of a mistress is to not cause any undue stress to her beau. He has enough stress in his life. His wife, kids, house, job, lawn and TV is stressful enough. So when you have time with him help him relax in a way that only you can provide.
Under no circumstances should you ever nag, bitch, complain, or make ultimatums. Knowing that you aren't high on his priority list you should realize that you are dispensable to him. Those actions could have you out just like last weeks recycling.
You should never expect any thing from him except some of his time. After paying for his wife, kids, house, lawn and TV there may not be anything left for you. Besides he definantly doesn't want to leave a paper trail leading to others finding out about you.
As a mistress you will by no means have any expectations of this relationship becoming exclusive. You should accept your role as a mistress or end the relationship as soon as possible.
With all that said: as a mistress, you do have some power over the dude as well.
He knows that you could blow his cover. With one phone call you could destroy his whole world. He will often share information about himself that he doesn't with anyone else. Knowledge is power.
Well folks, I hope this little bit of information helps you out. Please feel free to add to the list or offer more advice.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Get Out
The best, most profitable night of the year for a cabbie is New Years Eve. This past New Years Eve was no exception. I ran non stop and had a very profitable evening. For the most part it was an evening of constant running. Before midnight most of the fares were picking people up at their homes and bringing them down town. After midnight the dispatcher was so busy from people calling from the bars she shut off the phone and told us drivers just to drive past the bars and give rides to who ever jumped in our cabs.
Sometime after midnight I was cruising past The Page and I see a sweet looking waif standing at the curb flagging me down. So I pull on over and she comes up to the passenger window and tells me that her and her friends need a ride to Durham.
Durham is a college town about 20 miles away and its right in the middle of the busy time. The logical part of my brain is telling me that this fare could cost me money and that I shouldn't do it. The man (AKA Low Down Dirty Dog) part of my brain is telling me that this cutey has friends so I will be going to Durham with a van full of drunk hotties. Needless to say the man part of my brain wins out so I agree.
The sweetheart turns around to wave in her friends as I push the button to open the automatic doors in the van. Next thing you know I got a van full of damn Frat boys. Son of a Bitch! I just got set up and my mind is reeling. How will I get out out of this?
Suddenly as I'm shutting the automatic doors two of those douche bags are in each others face yelling obscenities at each other. I turn around and yell in my best take no shit voice "If you guys don't knock it off I will kick your asses out of my cab!"
The yelling stopped and they apologized. I put the van in drive and pulled away. I started the meter and turned around the corner and suddenly they had each other by the throats. I slammed the brakes and these two dueling dorks came flying to the front of the cab and landed between the front bucket seats. I opened up the door and yelled "get the fuck out of my cab!"
Then those guys started begging me to give them a ride and they will stop. By this point I had it and besides I didn't want to go to Durham anyways. Finally they got the hint and got out with the exception of the little tart that was sitting in the front seat next to me. At this point I wasn't going to buy into her charms. She sat there and tried batting her pretty little eyes at me while pleading with me to take them home. I hated to do it but finally I told her that if she didn't get out the van I was going to call the police and have her removed. With that she told me to fuck off and got out. As I was driving off I could see those two original douche bags involved in the sissy slap fight of the century.
Within a second I had my next fare and I proceeded with my evening as if nothing ever happened. I think I told everyone I had in my cab after that about this incident and we had lots of laughs at their expense. I hope you; the lucky person reading this, can find humor in this too!
Sometime after midnight I was cruising past The Page and I see a sweet looking waif standing at the curb flagging me down. So I pull on over and she comes up to the passenger window and tells me that her and her friends need a ride to Durham.
Durham is a college town about 20 miles away and its right in the middle of the busy time. The logical part of my brain is telling me that this fare could cost me money and that I shouldn't do it. The man (AKA Low Down Dirty Dog) part of my brain is telling me that this cutey has friends so I will be going to Durham with a van full of drunk hotties. Needless to say the man part of my brain wins out so I agree.
The sweetheart turns around to wave in her friends as I push the button to open the automatic doors in the van. Next thing you know I got a van full of damn Frat boys. Son of a Bitch! I just got set up and my mind is reeling. How will I get out out of this?
Suddenly as I'm shutting the automatic doors two of those douche bags are in each others face yelling obscenities at each other. I turn around and yell in my best take no shit voice "If you guys don't knock it off I will kick your asses out of my cab!"
The yelling stopped and they apologized. I put the van in drive and pulled away. I started the meter and turned around the corner and suddenly they had each other by the throats. I slammed the brakes and these two dueling dorks came flying to the front of the cab and landed between the front bucket seats. I opened up the door and yelled "get the fuck out of my cab!"
Then those guys started begging me to give them a ride and they will stop. By this point I had it and besides I didn't want to go to Durham anyways. Finally they got the hint and got out with the exception of the little tart that was sitting in the front seat next to me. At this point I wasn't going to buy into her charms. She sat there and tried batting her pretty little eyes at me while pleading with me to take them home. I hated to do it but finally I told her that if she didn't get out the van I was going to call the police and have her removed. With that she told me to fuck off and got out. As I was driving off I could see those two original douche bags involved in the sissy slap fight of the century.
Within a second I had my next fare and I proceeded with my evening as if nothing ever happened. I think I told everyone I had in my cab after that about this incident and we had lots of laughs at their expense. I hope you; the lucky person reading this, can find humor in this too!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Mistress
Denizens of the night often see things that often don't come to light during the day. One would need to keep an open mind and try to see situations from different points of view. I know, I know you re wondering where I'm going with this. Let me explain.
About 3 weeks ago I was working a Saturday night shift. I got dispatched to Market Square to pick up "Brad". (name changed to protect the innocent or not get sued) Dispatcher tells me he is a regular so try to cut him a deal. Well Brad hops in and he has a lady friend with him. He tells me he is going to Stratham which is normally about a 40 dollar fair so I tells him it will be 25 bucks. You know cutting him a deal. We agreed on the price and were off. The lady just starts blabbing about things that this guy obviously has no interest in. After about 5 minutes or so of this incoherent banter the guys cell phone rings. He answered it as fast as he possibly could. I think he was glad to be rescued from the constant drone of her voice. Without trying to eaves drop it came apparent that it was his wife calling and he was out with his mistress.
As soon as Brad got off the phone mistress lady keyed right in on him. She was telling him that he needs to be more cautious or his wife will find out. He needed to dump his wife. He needed to spend more time with her [the mistress]. Just basically nagging the hell out of him. Finally we arrived at the destination. Brad paid the fair and gave me almost a 125% tip. I liked Brad!
I now you guys are probably thinking Brad is a jerk for having a mistress. Heck, I did too for a while until I put some thought into it. I'm willing to bet that anybody reading this is no saint. We all have skeletons in our closets. With that said I put some thought into why guys cheat on their spouses. I know I'm biased because I'm a guy and depending on who you ask I'm a low down dirty dog too. But I think at heart I'm a good person and I really think most people are too.
Some guys cheat because there wife don't have sex with them as often as they like. Some guys cheat because they don't find their wives attractive any more. Some guys cheat because they are bored. Some guys cheat because their wives only care about themselves. Some guys cheat because their wives nag them to death. Some guys cheat because they need to and some guys cheat because they just assholes.
Now lets talk about the other party, the mistress. For one she knows this guy has a wife and she wants to be the only woman in his life. I think she is the idiot in the situation. I'm not sure why this guy feels the need to cheat on his wife. But I'm sure he gets nagged enough at home. Also I'm sure nagging isn't a quality he is looking for in his mistress. My advise to this guy is to have his mistress hit the bricks. Find a new mistress or work things out with the old lady!
About 3 weeks ago I was working a Saturday night shift. I got dispatched to Market Square to pick up "Brad". (name changed to protect the innocent or not get sued) Dispatcher tells me he is a regular so try to cut him a deal. Well Brad hops in and he has a lady friend with him. He tells me he is going to Stratham which is normally about a 40 dollar fair so I tells him it will be 25 bucks. You know cutting him a deal. We agreed on the price and were off. The lady just starts blabbing about things that this guy obviously has no interest in. After about 5 minutes or so of this incoherent banter the guys cell phone rings. He answered it as fast as he possibly could. I think he was glad to be rescued from the constant drone of her voice. Without trying to eaves drop it came apparent that it was his wife calling and he was out with his mistress.
As soon as Brad got off the phone mistress lady keyed right in on him. She was telling him that he needs to be more cautious or his wife will find out. He needed to dump his wife. He needed to spend more time with her [the mistress]. Just basically nagging the hell out of him. Finally we arrived at the destination. Brad paid the fair and gave me almost a 125% tip. I liked Brad!
I now you guys are probably thinking Brad is a jerk for having a mistress. Heck, I did too for a while until I put some thought into it. I'm willing to bet that anybody reading this is no saint. We all have skeletons in our closets. With that said I put some thought into why guys cheat on their spouses. I know I'm biased because I'm a guy and depending on who you ask I'm a low down dirty dog too. But I think at heart I'm a good person and I really think most people are too.
Some guys cheat because there wife don't have sex with them as often as they like. Some guys cheat because they don't find their wives attractive any more. Some guys cheat because they are bored. Some guys cheat because their wives only care about themselves. Some guys cheat because their wives nag them to death. Some guys cheat because they need to and some guys cheat because they just assholes.
Now lets talk about the other party, the mistress. For one she knows this guy has a wife and she wants to be the only woman in his life. I think she is the idiot in the situation. I'm not sure why this guy feels the need to cheat on his wife. But I'm sure he gets nagged enough at home. Also I'm sure nagging isn't a quality he is looking for in his mistress. My advise to this guy is to have his mistress hit the bricks. Find a new mistress or work things out with the old lady!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
My Nemesis
Ive been driving a cab on a part basis going on six months now. There are approximately five cab companies in town. For the most part we are are cordial to each other. We tend to stay out of each others way. We also do our best not to steal each others fares. There seems to be a bit of mutual respect for each other.
There is one cabbie in town who works for Anchor taxi who is different from the rest. He is an ornery little bastard and I think he reminds of that king on the old Bugs Bunny cartoons who always yelled " Wheres my Hossenfeffer"!
There is this particular taxi stand on Market street in front of Fat Bellies Bar and Grill that he seems to think is his. He often parks there and goes inside of Fat Bellies for what seems to be hours. I personally don't care what he does but on the rare occasion I park in that spot he drives by real slow giving me the stink eye. I usually just laugh it off and not worry about it. After all Ive had better people not like me.
This past Sunday afternoon I was parked in that popular stand listening to the scores of the first games of the NFL games played and waiting for the blues radio show to start on WUNH. I look up and guess who is standing at my window. You guessed it, that dork from Anchor Taxi.
"Nice parking job" he says pointing out that I'm a couple feet off the curb.
"That's so I could get out of here easily because some people want and enjoy my services" I reply.
He grunts and scurries away to the confines of Fat Bellies Bar and Grill.
Within a couple minutes he saunters out of the restaurant. He has in his hand these little maps that the city likes people in the service industry to give out to tourist to help them get around the town of Portsmouth. To me it looks like comic book art , but it is helpful to those who aren't familiar to the city. I notice he is walking towards me and I could see in his face he was going to say something to me so I went on the offensive.
"Hey man, what are you doing with those maps?" I asked.
He didn't answer so I answered for him and said teasingly "are you going to use those to help you find your way around town!"
He turned red and I could visibly tell he was offended by that comment. He mumbled something I couldn't understand then he looked at me and stammered " I could drive around this town backwards faster than you could go forward."
"Touche, wanna try bucko!" I shouted back.
By this time he is walking back across the street to his cab. I was feeling pretty good because often if you piss someone off and then don't like you and they will not talk to you at all. Well that was what I was trying to achieve.
My 2-way radio rung and it was dispatch giving me a run. I was putting the car in drive and suddenly I see King Hossenfeffer standing on the curb looking at me. I yelled at him, "I have a run and I will be right back in a few minutes to claim your parking spot."
" No you wont" he responded, " I will park my cab there and I will go inside and watch the Patriots."
I drove away without saying anything. I took care of my fare and drove back to that hot spot. And sure enough his cab was there and he wasn't around. Right then I realized that I found my Nemesis in the cabbing world. He doesn't know it yet but I will make it my mission to make his days a little more uncomfortable. I wont break the law and I wont do anything to hurt him but there will be some practical jokes coming his way.
I will always make it a point to park in that spot whenever possible. Also, if I see him in that spot I will use my personal cell phone to call him and ask him to go get me somewhere acrosss town going back downtown. Once he leaves I will take that spot then call to cancel the ride.
I'm open to suggestions so please if you have any ideas of what I could do in order to have some fun with this ass clown please let me know. I will use my blog to keep you posted on any progress I make in ruining this guys day!
There is one cabbie in town who works for Anchor taxi who is different from the rest. He is an ornery little bastard and I think he reminds of that king on the old Bugs Bunny cartoons who always yelled " Wheres my Hossenfeffer"!
There is this particular taxi stand on Market street in front of Fat Bellies Bar and Grill that he seems to think is his. He often parks there and goes inside of Fat Bellies for what seems to be hours. I personally don't care what he does but on the rare occasion I park in that spot he drives by real slow giving me the stink eye. I usually just laugh it off and not worry about it. After all Ive had better people not like me.
This past Sunday afternoon I was parked in that popular stand listening to the scores of the first games of the NFL games played and waiting for the blues radio show to start on WUNH. I look up and guess who is standing at my window. You guessed it, that dork from Anchor Taxi.
"Nice parking job" he says pointing out that I'm a couple feet off the curb.
"That's so I could get out of here easily because some people want and enjoy my services" I reply.
He grunts and scurries away to the confines of Fat Bellies Bar and Grill.
Within a couple minutes he saunters out of the restaurant. He has in his hand these little maps that the city likes people in the service industry to give out to tourist to help them get around the town of Portsmouth. To me it looks like comic book art , but it is helpful to those who aren't familiar to the city. I notice he is walking towards me and I could see in his face he was going to say something to me so I went on the offensive.
"Hey man, what are you doing with those maps?" I asked.
He didn't answer so I answered for him and said teasingly "are you going to use those to help you find your way around town!"
He turned red and I could visibly tell he was offended by that comment. He mumbled something I couldn't understand then he looked at me and stammered " I could drive around this town backwards faster than you could go forward."
"Touche, wanna try bucko!" I shouted back.
By this time he is walking back across the street to his cab. I was feeling pretty good because often if you piss someone off and then don't like you and they will not talk to you at all. Well that was what I was trying to achieve.
My 2-way radio rung and it was dispatch giving me a run. I was putting the car in drive and suddenly I see King Hossenfeffer standing on the curb looking at me. I yelled at him, "I have a run and I will be right back in a few minutes to claim your parking spot."
" No you wont" he responded, " I will park my cab there and I will go inside and watch the Patriots."
I drove away without saying anything. I took care of my fare and drove back to that hot spot. And sure enough his cab was there and he wasn't around. Right then I realized that I found my Nemesis in the cabbing world. He doesn't know it yet but I will make it my mission to make his days a little more uncomfortable. I wont break the law and I wont do anything to hurt him but there will be some practical jokes coming his way.
I will always make it a point to park in that spot whenever possible. Also, if I see him in that spot I will use my personal cell phone to call him and ask him to go get me somewhere acrosss town going back downtown. Once he leaves I will take that spot then call to cancel the ride.
I'm open to suggestions so please if you have any ideas of what I could do in order to have some fun with this ass clown please let me know. I will use my blog to keep you posted on any progress I make in ruining this guys day!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Jamie And Christine
I know it been a while since I posted on my blog. My schedule changed at my real job and I'm not able to drive the cab as often as I used to. Last night a fellow driver needed the night off and I was asked to fill in for him. It was a regular get em in and get em out night with the exception of one interesting fare.
I was flagged down by a nice couple in market square and they wanted to go to the Holmwoods suites. As we are taking off the The gentleman asked me if I have ever had any interesting things happen in my cab. So I did some shameless promoting and told him about my blog. He then went on to brag about how he banged his lady twice that day. I just figured it was the alcohol talking so I just laughed along.
He then asked, "ever have anyone get it on in your cab."
"Not yet," I replied.
Out of now where the lady chimed in " Hey honey, wanna be the first."
"If you're gonna fuck in my cab its gonna cost you another fifty bucks" I bellowed out in a half jokingly voice. But I was serious.
"No problem. Hey honey lets do it"
"No babe, I'm tired"
"I cant believe you chickening out" I said teasing that dude. After all that bragging he did nothing.
About that time I was at their hotel. As they were getting out the dude asked if I would mention them in my blog which I agreed. I got their names and they were on their way.
Well this is for you Jamie and Christine. If you are reading this, it was fun having you in my cab and I wish both of you the best!
I was flagged down by a nice couple in market square and they wanted to go to the Holmwoods suites. As we are taking off the The gentleman asked me if I have ever had any interesting things happen in my cab. So I did some shameless promoting and told him about my blog. He then went on to brag about how he banged his lady twice that day. I just figured it was the alcohol talking so I just laughed along.
He then asked, "ever have anyone get it on in your cab."
"Not yet," I replied.
Out of now where the lady chimed in " Hey honey, wanna be the first."
"If you're gonna fuck in my cab its gonna cost you another fifty bucks" I bellowed out in a half jokingly voice. But I was serious.
"No problem. Hey honey lets do it"
"No babe, I'm tired"
"I cant believe you chickening out" I said teasing that dude. After all that bragging he did nothing.
About that time I was at their hotel. As they were getting out the dude asked if I would mention them in my blog which I agreed. I got their names and they were on their way.
Well this is for you Jamie and Christine. If you are reading this, it was fun having you in my cab and I wish both of you the best!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Ahh...Ryan
Got dispatched out to Philbrick's Fresh Market with the party going to K-mart. I pull up and I see an a blue haired old lad with her arm in a sling and a scrawny guy with short cropped hair on his head and back hair sticking out the back of his ratty Old Navy T-shirt.
They start walking towards the cab and the ol' blue hair says in the most god awful, nagging, whinny voice with an old New England accent, "Ahh... Ryan, can you open the door for me!"
"Ahh...Ryan can you help me in the cah!"
"Ahh...Ryan can you close the door!"
Now they are in my cab. With that nagging whining voice she says to me, " take me to K-mart!"
I have only been around her for a minute and every time she says something I feel a little gag reflex in the back of my throat.
We get to rolling and she sets in on poor Ryan. "Ahh...Ryan I'm going to need your help in K-mart!"
"Hmmph." Ryan moans
"Ahh...Ryan you're gonna have to help me put the stuff on the registah!"
"Hmmph."
"Ahh...Ryan, you're gonna have to put the bags back in the caht!"
"Hmmph."
I noticed the pattern here as I look in the rear view mirror. I notice that poor ol Ryan has a look of disgust on his face. I believe he was giving serious thought to jumping face first out of the cab to unforgiving pavement. Right about then I pull up to K-mart. They get out and i could see her nagging that poor ol' Ryan all the way into the store.
A couple hours pass and several fares later I get dispatched to K-mart. I knew it was for the old blue hair and poor ol' Ryan.
I pull up and I hear that familiar nagging voice, "Ahh...Ryan, put the stuff in the trunk!"
"Ahh...Ryan, help me in the cah!"
"Ahh...Ryan, close the door!"
"Ahh...Ryan, tomorrow you have to go pick up my presciptions at 9 o'clock!"
"Hmmph"
"Ahh...Ryan you go to church tomorrow, right?!"
"Hmmph...Yea"
"Ahh...Ryan, then after church go pick it up!"
I again look in the rear view mirror and poor ol Ryan is looking even more pathetic than before. All I could think was that I understand wanting to help out your mother. But, at some point one has to stop being a door mat and grow a backbone and tell this bitch to shut the fuck up.
Just when I was giving serious thought to jumping face first out of the cab to the unforgiving pavement, we pull up to that old nags apartment.
"Ahh ...Ryan....." I heard as I tuned her voice out. I just couldn't wait to get them out. Its been almost a week ago that I met her and I still cant get her wretched voice out of my head!
They start walking towards the cab and the ol' blue hair says in the most god awful, nagging, whinny voice with an old New England accent, "Ahh... Ryan, can you open the door for me!"
"Ahh...Ryan can you help me in the cah!"
"Ahh...Ryan can you close the door!"
Now they are in my cab. With that nagging whining voice she says to me, " take me to K-mart!"
I have only been around her for a minute and every time she says something I feel a little gag reflex in the back of my throat.
We get to rolling and she sets in on poor Ryan. "Ahh...Ryan I'm going to need your help in K-mart!"
"Hmmph." Ryan moans
"Ahh...Ryan you're gonna have to help me put the stuff on the registah!"
"Hmmph."
"Ahh...Ryan, you're gonna have to put the bags back in the caht!"
"Hmmph."
I noticed the pattern here as I look in the rear view mirror. I notice that poor ol Ryan has a look of disgust on his face. I believe he was giving serious thought to jumping face first out of the cab to unforgiving pavement. Right about then I pull up to K-mart. They get out and i could see her nagging that poor ol' Ryan all the way into the store.
A couple hours pass and several fares later I get dispatched to K-mart. I knew it was for the old blue hair and poor ol' Ryan.
I pull up and I hear that familiar nagging voice, "Ahh...Ryan, put the stuff in the trunk!"
"Ahh...Ryan, help me in the cah!"
"Ahh...Ryan, close the door!"
"Ahh...Ryan, tomorrow you have to go pick up my presciptions at 9 o'clock!"
"Hmmph"
"Ahh...Ryan you go to church tomorrow, right?!"
"Hmmph...Yea"
"Ahh...Ryan, then after church go pick it up!"
I again look in the rear view mirror and poor ol Ryan is looking even more pathetic than before. All I could think was that I understand wanting to help out your mother. But, at some point one has to stop being a door mat and grow a backbone and tell this bitch to shut the fuck up.
Just when I was giving serious thought to jumping face first out of the cab to the unforgiving pavement, we pull up to that old nags apartment.
"Ahh ...Ryan....." I heard as I tuned her voice out. I just couldn't wait to get them out. Its been almost a week ago that I met her and I still cant get her wretched voice out of my head!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Ooooh....that smell
When I thought about blogging about my cabbing experiences I told myself that I wouldn't use this as a forum to make fun of those who are less fortunate than I am. I have had some fares with some people really down on their luck. Sometimes while they are in my cab I find them annoying then later after I think about it for a while I find myself feeling sorry for them I wish I could do more for them but I know I'm in no position for that.
It was a Friday morning and I was filling in because we were short a cab driver. I was the only cab from our company on the road and I had the dispatcher phone. I usually work nights and quickly learned that I prefer the graveyard shifts. Starting at about 9 A.M. I had a series of fairs involving an elderly couple. The wife was in a wheelchair and the husband appeared to be in the early stages of some form of dementia. Started out with a call from the Fair Field Inn Hotel. I was told that they had a couple that wanted to go to the Sprint store and that the lady was handicapped and needed a car because it was easier for her to get into. Luckily I was in a car and I proceed to go there. I pulled up and out they come. I get out, open the front and back passengers door and wait for them to get to the car. I get next to the woman in the wheelchair and I smell the stench of hot piss mixed with body funk. It was so bad that not only was my nose burning but my throat seemed like it was going to close on me too.
I get them in the car and we are on our way. The lady says to me that she will be about 15 minutes and that she will need a ride back. I had another run waiting for me so I told her that after that fare I will come back to get them. She agreed and all is well. After she got out all I could smell is that funk. I really dreaded going back for them but I did it anyways. I got them back to their hotel without incident.
A couple hours pass and I think I don't smell her anymore, The phone rings. Its a social worker calls me from the hospital and asked if I could pick up an elderly couple at 1:30 with the wife being in a wheelchair, and take them to the Rockingham County Courthouse in Brentwood. Holy shit, I know who that is! The social worker tells me that they are going to pay for it. I just happen to be passing the hospital so she agrees to meet me by the main entrance to give me a voucher to pay for their ride. while there I tell her that I know them because earlier I gave them a ride to the Sprint store. Then I'm off again.
A few minute pass then the social worker calls to tell me that they decided not to pay their fare because she thought they were broke. And if they could afford a cell phone then they could afford a cab ride. I explained to her that when I go to get them if they are broke I'm going to leave their asses at the hotel. She said fine.
Suddenly I'm thinking to myself, How the hell do I get myself in these situations. Then I remind the heavenly father that I'm sorry for all the bad things Ive done in my life. About that time it occurred to me that they probably don't have money so I wont have to worry about it. The smile on my face was interrupted by the phone ringing again. It was a lawyer telling me to go pick them up and that he will pay cash for it. Dammit!! Now I'm thinking about how will I prevent myself from smelling her and how will I get that smell out of the car.
At 1:30 sharp I'm at the hotel. That woman is smelling as ripe as ever. I could hardly stand it. I thought I was going to puke. I drive the 30 minutes and I get them to the court house in time and the Lawyer gave me a 40% tip on the fare That was my last fare of the day but I was frustrated that I could smell her and I knew I was going to have to get the seat she was in cleaned.
Fast forward to Saturday morning. I get online and Im reading the local newspaper online. The cover story is about a police officer who responded to a minor car accident and found an elderly couple who lives in their car with squaler conditions. He offered to get them help. They refused so he arrested the woman because she was the one who was more coherant, if you will. At the top of the article there was a picture of the couple. Can you guess who it was? You guessed it! The couple who was in my cab. Suddenly I go from being frustrated with them to feeling sorry for them. I wish I wasnt such a softy.
It was a Friday morning and I was filling in because we were short a cab driver. I was the only cab from our company on the road and I had the dispatcher phone. I usually work nights and quickly learned that I prefer the graveyard shifts. Starting at about 9 A.M. I had a series of fairs involving an elderly couple. The wife was in a wheelchair and the husband appeared to be in the early stages of some form of dementia. Started out with a call from the Fair Field Inn Hotel. I was told that they had a couple that wanted to go to the Sprint store and that the lady was handicapped and needed a car because it was easier for her to get into. Luckily I was in a car and I proceed to go there. I pulled up and out they come. I get out, open the front and back passengers door and wait for them to get to the car. I get next to the woman in the wheelchair and I smell the stench of hot piss mixed with body funk. It was so bad that not only was my nose burning but my throat seemed like it was going to close on me too.
I get them in the car and we are on our way. The lady says to me that she will be about 15 minutes and that she will need a ride back. I had another run waiting for me so I told her that after that fare I will come back to get them. She agreed and all is well. After she got out all I could smell is that funk. I really dreaded going back for them but I did it anyways. I got them back to their hotel without incident.
A couple hours pass and I think I don't smell her anymore, The phone rings. Its a social worker calls me from the hospital and asked if I could pick up an elderly couple at 1:30 with the wife being in a wheelchair, and take them to the Rockingham County Courthouse in Brentwood. Holy shit, I know who that is! The social worker tells me that they are going to pay for it. I just happen to be passing the hospital so she agrees to meet me by the main entrance to give me a voucher to pay for their ride. while there I tell her that I know them because earlier I gave them a ride to the Sprint store. Then I'm off again.
A few minute pass then the social worker calls to tell me that they decided not to pay their fare because she thought they were broke. And if they could afford a cell phone then they could afford a cab ride. I explained to her that when I go to get them if they are broke I'm going to leave their asses at the hotel. She said fine.
Suddenly I'm thinking to myself, How the hell do I get myself in these situations. Then I remind the heavenly father that I'm sorry for all the bad things Ive done in my life. About that time it occurred to me that they probably don't have money so I wont have to worry about it. The smile on my face was interrupted by the phone ringing again. It was a lawyer telling me to go pick them up and that he will pay cash for it. Dammit!! Now I'm thinking about how will I prevent myself from smelling her and how will I get that smell out of the car.
At 1:30 sharp I'm at the hotel. That woman is smelling as ripe as ever. I could hardly stand it. I thought I was going to puke. I drive the 30 minutes and I get them to the court house in time and the Lawyer gave me a 40% tip on the fare That was my last fare of the day but I was frustrated that I could smell her and I knew I was going to have to get the seat she was in cleaned.
Fast forward to Saturday morning. I get online and Im reading the local newspaper online. The cover story is about a police officer who responded to a minor car accident and found an elderly couple who lives in their car with squaler conditions. He offered to get them help. They refused so he arrested the woman because she was the one who was more coherant, if you will. At the top of the article there was a picture of the couple. Can you guess who it was? You guessed it! The couple who was in my cab. Suddenly I go from being frustrated with them to feeling sorry for them. I wish I wasnt such a softy.
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