Awkward

Last night was a slow night.  It was raining and there weren't many people enjoying a night out in downtown Portsmouth.  Due to life's circumstances I was forced to start later than I normally would.  All the makings of a non profitable night. 

As predicted it was rather slow for most of the night.  At about 11:45 PM  things started to change.  People started leaving the bars and to my surprise the were really friendly.  Fast forward to about 1:00 AM I picked up a group of party people in Market Square.  They load up and I get a loud, outgoing young lady sitting in the front with me.

After establishing where they are going we get moving.  After the standard pleasantries the young lady starts getting friendly with me and asks lots of questions about what its like to drive a cab.  I intentionally kept all the answers basic.  Then she asked in a giggly voice "Do you like giving rides?"

I'm no fool, I know where this is going.  In my almost two years of driving I've been hit on, flirted with, invited to spend the night, insulted, shoved and all other sorts of other things I cant think of at the moment.  I think back to the neighborhood I grew up in and my four year stint in the Navy and I realize that there isn't much that's going to shock or embarrass me.  So I answer in the way any wise guy worth his salt would answer  "Yep, I sure do."

"HAHA, I bet you do!"  She yelled.

"Do you like giving me a ride." She snickered.

"Highlight of my night."  I snap back.

She was quiet for a few seconds then she asked "Can I rub you nipples?"

In all my life I don't think I've ever been asked if someone could rub my nipples.  Especially a stranger.

Being put on the spot I figured the best thing to do is to call her bluff so I answered "Only if I could rub yours first."

For the rest of the ride she didn't say another word.  Seemed like forever but I think only another minute passed and we at her residence.  I figured the conversation was over, I would get paid and would be on our way.  Someone in the back of the cab paid the fair with a generous tip.  The folks in the back of the van file out and Queenie in the front seat is still there fishing in her purse.  After a couple seconds  she hands me a couple more dollars.  I look down putting all the cash in my bag and suddenly out of nowhere pulls down the front of her blouse and is exposing her chest and all its glory.

Needless to say I was shocked!  Like I said previously I'm not shocked easily but now she had my full undivided attention.  She says "Well are you going to rub my nipples."

I must have sounded like a fool but with my fear of going to prison all I could ask was "You're not going the cops on me will ya."

"No, of course not."

With that I did just like any awkward teenager would do and reached out with my right had and gave the one on the left a gentle squeeze.  I pulled my arm back stuck out my chest and said "your turn."

She gave my chest a rub, said "thanks", put her blouse back on properly, got out the cab. and disappeared into her home.  At that point I felt a bit dumbfounded with disbelief about what just went down.  Part of me does feels guilty because after all I am a married man.  I think sometimes I should just let people say things with out the need of calling their bluff.  That's life I guess.